I’ve been smoking weed to stop thinking,
I’ve been lying to myself that things will get better,
I’ve been pretending that everything is okay,
And that my smile isn’t fake.
I’ve been out with friends every night of the week,
Staying up late and forgetting to eat,
Listening to music to try and fix my stupid heart,
Having sex and playing a part,
Acting fine when my world feels upside down,
Though I’m loved I feel so alone,
I’m everything I never wanted to be,
But when I’m in my boyfriends arms it’s truly like nothing else,
He mends the crushing thoughts my mind tortures me with,
He’s the only sunshine I have in my empty life,
And, frankly, ever since I lost my step mom,
He’s the only one I can tell everything to…
So, I guess the whole truth is, I’m lost.